Trust issues

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of people saying they have trust issues.

Well, if you think about it, trusting someone doesn’t just come like that. Understandably, it is not easy at all. Trust is something you earn and it takes time and dedication.

Trust goes hand in hand with honesty. Saying the truth, no matter how much it can hurt the other person, is the first step. Being honest with yourself first and then with everyone around you is something we need to work on, it does not happen over night.

What I hate the most is hearing:

“No one can be trusted”
“I don’t trust girls/guys anymore”

What happened with giving the benefit of the doubt? Do we actually believe that everyone is the same, everyone just wants to hurt us on purpose? Are we all just a pack of douchebags at the end of the day?

We all have our issues, small, big, doesn’t really matter. We all have a baggage, we’ve all been through hell at some point in our lives. But, giving up on your feelings is no solution. It just turns us into robots. And, robots don’t understand the notion of happiness, they are empty.

One question: who wants to live like that?

I don’t know about you but, I believe everyone deserves a chance, sometimes even a second chance. We are humans after all. Everyone screws up sometimes. We all do things that we regret later. But, we need to accept our mistakes and, most importantly, learn from them. We need to start working on being a better man/women. Not for me, him or her but, for you.

The only thing we can do is forget and forgive. First of all, it will make us feel better. And maybe, others will see that as an invitation to do the same.

Millions of people have decided not to be sensitive. They have grown thick skins around themselves just to avoid being hurt by anybody. But it is at great cost. Nobody can hurt them, but nobody can make them happy either.

– Osho

* I’ve been trying hard to find the perfect song for this, so here you go:

Breaking Your ‘Upper Limit’: 12 Ways People Hold Themselves Back From Real Happiness

Once a week I will reblog posts from fellow bloggers that are interesting and worth learning from.

This week: Thought Catalog
It is a long article but really enjoyable to read.

Topic: The common rush for happiness, how we manage to sabotage happiness when we reach it and how to change our ways.

“It’s the fact that we can lose what we have that makes it sacred and precious and wonderful. It’s not about what pain you suffer, it’s about what you suffer for. You can choose to cut yourself off from feeling good so as to buffer the sense of loss and suffer from numbness, or you can have an incredible life and have to mourn wildly when it’s over, but at least there was a means to that end.”

Thought Catalog

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Most people don’t want to be happy, which is why they aren’t.

People are programmed to achieve their foremost desire at almost any cost (imagine the adrenaline-fueled superhuman powers people develop in life-or-death emergencies.) It’s just a matter of what that foremost desire is.

People don’t want to be happy because they think it means giving up on achieving more. More people don’t want to believe it’s a choice because that puts responsibility in their hands. It’s the same reason people self-pity: to delay action, to make an outcry to the universe, as though the more they state how bad things are, the more likely it is that someone else will change them.

Happiness is not a rush of positive emotion elicited by random events that affirm the way you think something should go. Not sustainable happiness, anyway. The real stuff is the product of an intentional, mindful, daily…

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Words

communication

Have you ever wished you’ve never sent that text? Have you ever regretted saying something that shouldn’t have been said?

I know I do. Sometimes I find myself guilty of repeating the same mistakes, over and over again.

I must say I hate texting. Not sure where I stand with phone conversations yet. Having a face-to-face conversation with your friend, lover or even with a stranger, is a much more pleasant and rewarding experience.

A ‘real conversation’ gives you an insight into what the other person might be feeling. It creates strong connections. It builds friendships and fixes broken bonds. Texts only makes you miscommunicate how you feel and misinterpret what other people mean.

I absolutely love and agree with Charles Dickens:

Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true.

* And this song x

Encouraging Thunder Award

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I would like to start by saying ‘Thank You’ to Afmai for nominating my blog. Thank you, Afmai for reading my blog and for making me believe a bit more in my dream.

This is the first time I’m participating in these kind of awards. This decision has much to do with the fact that I’ve been wanting, for a long time, to share with you, my readers, all the reasons I keep writing every day on this blog.

Purpose of my blogging:

  • I love to share thoughts, feelings and life experiences with fellow bloggers.
  • I want to make a change in the world. I know this might sound unrealistic to some but, I have to start somewhere. That’s what keeps my desire to write and share alive.
  • To learn about love. To understand life. To understand myself. To turn into a better person.
  • To explore all the beautiful things life has to offer. And, most importantly, it helps me to stay positive and focused to what I love.
  • It helps me to be me. I’ve accepted the way I am and I feel that through this blog I can reach to people who, not only accept the person I am but, also encourage me to further grow.

Further Nominees:

Rules for accepting the Award:

  • Post it on your blog
  • Nominate other bloggers.
  • Thank the blogger who nominated you.
  • Add the Encouraging Thunder logo
  • And write your purpose of blogging.

Thank you!

Love x

How my dad influences my love life

 

My dad is the one who raised me, who cared for me and who provided for me and my family. I was the first born child so, for sure it wasn’t easy. Being a parent in your mid 20’s cannot be easy. Obviously, he has very strong influence in all aspects my life. If he says a guy is not good for me and I deserve better, I’ll take his word for it. Simply because he’s the one who knows me best. He’ll know if it’s worth fighting for someone I love or if I should keep looking for what I actually need.

I deserve I guy who gets me just like my dad does. My dad can tell from a single look whenever something is bothering me. I need a guy who can do just that, someone to whom I can open up to without being scared he’ll judge me or hate me.

*there is more, keep reading….

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My father is the best example of someone who appreciates what he has. He’s proud of his wife and his daughters. He would never accept me dating a guy who’s not treating me with the respect I deserve.

He has always encouraged me to follow my dreams (even the stupid ones) and believed in me. He was the one teaching me how to walk and he was the one helping me to fly the nest, really far away. I want that kind of support from the other guy in my life

 

My father is not afraid to show his emotions. He’ll be touched by a sad love story and share with me his love mistakes. I want a guy who’s able to do that, to connect with his feminine side. I want someone who’s not afraid to be himself with me, someone who’s not hiding his feelings or bad habits.

My father taught me to let go and forgive everyone. He’s a man that went through a lot of crap to know that holding on to hate and rage for too long can only do you harm. I need a man like that, because that’s the only way I could be truly at peace with myself.

I love you dad and thank you for teaching me all this precious life lessons. And, don’t worry, I’ll never settle for less than I deserve. I promise, sooner or later you’ll meet your daughter’s true man.

P.S. I miss having you by my side, daddy x

This song reminds me of you every time I listen to it. And it makes me laugh so much.

Common dating steps amongst Generation Y

A-Flirty-

  • She pushes you away. Days, weeks have gone and she finally sends you a ‘Hi!’; sometimes she apologises for being so distant lately but, she had some things to take care of.
  • He replies but, only after a few hours and acting all chill. No drama …hmm.. so far.
  • Everything goes well for a while and your conversations are purely platonic, filled with some flirty jokes now and then.
  • One of you says something wrong, completely bullshit or inappropriate in that case. Don’t get me wrong, there are 50 50 chances it was just something innocent. That’s the moment when the other person flips :)) I think this is the funniest part. The tension, the dramaa.

Somehow these two stupid kids end up chatting again. And from this point on, history is going to repeat.

Good luck on your next roller coaster ride! I am still trying to figure it out how many times I’ve heard this kind of stories from my friends.

* To complement this post, watch this video. I promise, it’s hilarious.

The Three Musketeers

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I’ve been wanting to write this for a while now, but haven’t found my words until now. This post is about two of my best friends, my girls, my babes. I’ll start by saying I am really happy to have you in my life and I can only wish us the best for the years to come. Here’s to the crazy musketeers friends.

I’ve met Cez and Jo in our fresher’s year. Jo was in my Marketing class and Cez I’ve met through some mutual friends. We used to hang out and party together a few times in the first year and, as the time passed, we got to know each other better and better. Now we would rather spend our free time cooking, watching movies and talking about boys and relationships for hours. This year, not only I’ve graduated from university but, I also feel like I have a degree in friendship.

We’ve been together through good and bad times; birthday parties, bad brake-ups, financial problems, you name it. It has been easy for us to stick together because we are so much alike. We patiently listened to each other’s issues for hours, we’ve cried on each other’s shoulders (yes, big girls do cry) and we’ve taken over the club’s dance floor way too many times to remember. The most important thing is that we’re completely honest to each other and if advice doesn’t work, we turn to other creative methods such as interventions and really bad nagging schemes.

During my stressful dissertation period they literally moved in with me. Not quite sure if they added more stress in my life or not during that period :)). They were doing all the shopping and cooking, which helped me a lot. If it wasn’t for them, I would have probably ended up in hospital. However, every time inspiration struck me, they would start behaving like kids, e.g. starting a (really bad raping) karaoke session, knife arm wrestling or talking about the never-ending relationship problems. Nevertheless, they were the one who helped me a lot on the hand-in day when my laptop broke and I was crying my eyes out.

To some people we might appear as weirdos whenever we have a really good time but, we don’t mind. When we are together, it’s only about us and no one else. Sometimes, we act and talk like boys and other times we can be classy ladies; it all depends on the circumstances. We are not afraid of making fun of each other and speak our minds, even in front of other people. We remember each other’s most embarrassing moments and we’re quite afraid someone will spill the beans when least expected. Also, we get along so well because we speak the same language: sarcasm. However, if someone would dare to mess with either one of us, we would immediately go ‘One for all, and all for one’. All those times we took care of each other on our nights out, oh …

This year, together with my other friends, they’ve managed to throw the most amazing birthday party for me. It was the happiest weekend of 2015; thank you! With you, I always feel like I have a second family here in London. I cannot wait for next university year when we’ll be living together. It’s going to be amazing to have you so close. However, because we are so much alike, there will be a few arguments between us, which I am sure we’ll get over. For example, when we are together getting ready for a night out, we are really lazy. I am taking my time until I realise we’re going to be late, start panicking and rushing everyone. But, it’s not our fault, it’s just we have a lot of catch up to do and time flies so quickly. I do feel sorry for the boys, who are constantly knocking at our doors to hurry up 😦

Jo, Cez, you are beautiful inside out, amazing and funny girls to be around. And, most importantly, you’ve proven me again and again how lucky I am to have two caring and loving girl friends like you. Love x