The perils of jealousy

‘I’m not the jealous type’, that’s one of the biggest lie I constantly hear.

Every one of us has been jealous at least once. What you need to know about jealousy is that it’s a natural feeling. When you care about someone and you see danger on the horizon, you feel threatened and/or insecure. Sometimes, jealousy takes over you in the most harmless situations. That’s when you know the problem is not your lover, but yourself. That’s when you know your jealousy comes from your deepest fears, being cheated on before or even have cheated yourself. Even though it is inevitably part of love, in excess, jealousy destroys even the purest love stories. It takes time and patience to build trust, and a few seconds to lose it.

Unnecessary jealousy scenarios:

  • Bartender smiles at her when she orders. He asks whether she knows him. Of course she doesn’t; it’s her first time she’s ever walked in that pub. The bartender is only being friendly because he wants to make some extra money 😉
  • Random guy approaches her on the dance floor. He starts dancing with her. ‘Babe’ sees what’s happening from the bar and walks away in the other direction. Well, all that she needs is a dance partner, and if you’re making her dance …
  • My favorite: Someone starts chatting her up and ‘babe’ looks right, looks left and starts talking with the first good looking (or not) girl.

The solution: go straight up to your girl and give her a kiss; no harm done, everyone is happy and she will love you even more for getting her out of that awkward situation. I bet most girls will agree with me on this one.

Necessary jealousy scenarios:

  • Your ‘boozy’ girlfriend gets really close to a random guy or, even worse, to one of your mates. This is a ‘red flag’.
  • She’s always texting, has a password on her phone or walks out of the room when someone is calling her. Although this doesn’t necessarily means she’s cheating on you, sometimes you might want to reassess your relationship.
  • She spends less time with you, she’s always busy and when you meet she’s just not there in the moment, with you. Again, there are 50/50 chances she’s just going through something and needs some personal space.

The solution: pretty much the same as the previous one; get her out of her bubble, sincerely talk with her and most importantly listen; it can help your relationship so much … She might feel lonely, unappreciated and/or not getting the attention she deserves from you.

* Everything I’ve wrote is from personal experience, from research articles I’ve read and from what my friends have shared with me. It doesn’t necessarily means it’s your believe as well. I’ve written this because there might be people who need to hear this to fight for their loved one. I know this since I constantly need to remind myself the same thing …

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