Missing the feeling of being with someone you’ve lost

beautyI woke up with one thing in mind: today’s story. So, here I am in front of my shitty laptop, drinking green tea (trying to drink less coffee, don’t hate me!) and writing for you.

The other day I came across an Elite Daily article (I strongly recommend you to read them). The title was catchy and I kept on reading (“You Don’t Miss The Person, You Miss The Idea Of That Person”). Here are a few of my thoughts on the topic.

“This person treated you like sh*t, but you can only remember the good times”.

This can be true for some people, but for me not so much. I mean, I respect myself well enough to know that it was not perfect and that it will never be. We hear these sayings a lot and for good reasons: “life is not a fairy-tale or one of those Mexican soap operas”. We all know our lives are not black and white.

I would say the best moment to end a relationship is when the good times are fading and replaced by many more bad times. Sometimes it’s hard to see the ugly parts of a person because you came to terms with it, or even started to like it. Maybe he loved you, maybe he didn’t. Maybe you were his everything, or maybe you were his trophy. I will not apologize for being so straightforward because, sometimes you need someone to remember you deserve better. And that someone should not be a random guy at the bar.

I am pretty sure your besties will be there remembering you have been disrespected or mistreated by the men you learned to love. But, you have to make an effort as well, reach to the people in your life that care the most about you. I know what a good influence your friends are in these kind of moments, and I can only be grateful for my mates who know how to help me in these situations.

“You don’t miss the person you were with, you miss the person you were when you were with him or her”.

I must agree there is a bit of truth in this. From my experience, every time I am doing something with someone I am romantically – and not only – involved, I can’t help it but comparing the moment with the one I had with my exes. It happens involuntary, sometimes while living the moment, sometimes after and sometimes when I am sharing it with my closest friends. I guess, it is just the way our brains are programmed to work.

I mean every relationship in our lives is a unique experience. Nothing is the same and you need to act and react quickly in any situation. Otherwise, you lose the chance to happiness. Who wants that? Just do what your instinct tells you. I started to believe this theory that women have a sixth sense, so use it well (there has been a lot of research done around this topic, but about this in another post).

The longer you are in a relationship, the longer you will start developing deep feelings. I’ve experienced everything from casual relationships, FWB to boyfriend – girlfriend relationships and they all have their ups and downs. I can’t tell you it will be all fine, but I know you can be the person you were when you were with him or her. Firstly, because you’ve liked that person you once were with him or her. Secondly, because you already know how to rebuild her.

*Rihanna always knows how we feel.

** Check the remix. It’s alright for a night out clubbing with your besties.

“I’ve been ignoring this big lump in my throat
I shouldn’t be crying,
tears were for the weaker days
I’m stronger now, or so I say,
But something’s missing”

The Elite Daily article, which inspired me to write this, can be found here:

http://elitedaily.com/dating/miss-the-idea-of-them/1029703/

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