Wanting something you don’t want

It hurts so much you don’t

You don’t want to admit

That everything’s a myth.

Sleepless nights and tired eyes

Reminds you of his lies

Those lies that foolishly you thought

Were uttered from the bottom of his heart.

And you could only wish

You had the guts to call

And ask him if he fell

If he fell for you again.

But you’re smart enough to know

It will be a mistake

To go back to the man

Who made you feel so low.

It took me time and courage

To walk away from our toxic bond

I can feel the screaming rage

That started only two years ago.

God knows I’ve messed it up as well

Attracted to the darkness

By my unspoken, deepest desires

Never thinking I will be living such a hell.

You don’t know and never will

I’ve been unfaithful more than once

And it hurts and I could kill

To get a second chance

With someone who won’t mind

The moments that turned me blind.


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