Wanting something you don’t want
It hurts so much you don’t
You don’t want to admit
That everything’s a myth.
Sleepless nights and tired eyes
Reminds you of his lies
Those lies that foolishly you thought
Were uttered from the bottom of his heart.
And you could only wish
You had the guts to call
And ask him if he fell
If he fell for you again.
But you’re smart enough to know
It will be a mistake
To go back to the man
Who made you feel so low.
It took me time and courage
To walk away from our toxic bond
I can feel the screaming rage
That started only two years ago.
God knows I’ve messed it up as well
Attracted to the darkness
By my unspoken, deepest desires
Never thinking I will be living such a hell.
You don’t know and never will
I’ve been unfaithful more than once
And it hurts and I could kill
To get a second chance
With someone who won’t mind
The moments that turned me blind.